(flow // 04.09.2017)
i don’t know how to put all this into words because i’m not even sure how this all happened so quickly. how i returned to one of my homes for a few weeks and left so quickly. making all these new memories and seeing all the people i care about so deeply again. and how i left them so quickly. tears are running down my cheeks because my heart hurts at the thought of having left them once again and not being sure of when i’ll be able to return for another few weeks. i feel horrible and heartbroken and i wonder at what point my life started feeling like a series of constant goodbyes. and i remember reading this quote “this is the price you pay for the richness of living in more than one place” and i can’t find any other words to calm me. this is it and this is how it’s always going to be. i’ll arrive and i’ll leave once again. i’ll feel the happiness running through my whole body giving me that tingly feeling in my stomach when i’m finally returning and i’ll feel the heartbreak that makes me want to shatter to the ground and clogs my throat making me unable to speak when i’m returning back to where ever i came from this time. it’s change and it’s constant and through it all, i still feel so much gratitude.
and maybe, you could also call it a constant series of hello agains.