(late night thoughts // 06.12.2017)
i just read his blog again. after more than 5 months of him being gone, i’m moving. i’m not stuck anymore. i feel like if i would meet him again now, i would tell him that i’m finally moving again. i’m moving, i’m moving, i’m moving. and maybe i’ve been all this time. dancing my heart out at concerts and singing at the top of my lungs to lyrics that make my heart feel so full. wearing glitter on my my cheekbones and under my eyes and finding it hard to ever get rid of the glitter which ultimately was all over me. drinking wine, maybe a little bit too much again with the most wonderful people you could possibly meet in berlin. i was alive all this time even though there was a part of me that was horribly aching and i feel like it maybe always will a little bit. but i let it go and him. i let him go. i thought i did a few months ago but maybe i just did right now. and i wish him the best. still and always.